Introducing our latest Procare Community contest!

What comes out of a child's mouth is unpredictable and VERY often funny.

We asked for your funniest (or oddest) moment with a child in your center. Our staff has picked their favorite quote and  WE HAVE A WINNER!

The winner gets $50 Amazon Electronic Gift card...

Results below!

• A parent came into the school with a belly ring in her navel. One of our 4 year olds went up to her and looked at her and said" Hey, Look, she has a zipper!"


• Mom: Time to get up, you need to shower before you go to school.
  Kindergarten student: Just Frebreze me.


• Mrs. Stoeger, did you do something to your hair? Mrs. Stoeger: I colored out the old so I don't look old anymore. Student: Mrs. Stoeger, the old is still shining through.


• WINNER!: The day after a big thunderstorm and tornado warning in our area we had a child who refused to go outside to the playground. When I asked him why, he responded, "Cause the tomatoes are coming, like in the lizard of Oz."  


• When mom called us this morning as said, "Keiko will not be in school today. Family is here from out of town." I could hear Keiko yelling "Why! why! why! can't I go to school!"


• Christmas was on the third day of vacation. The family was up and ready to open presents. When finished their preschooler said to dad, "I'm done opening presents, can I go to school now?"


•  Mrs. Spence, I wasn't at school because I had the "FLUTE".


•  Parents of one of our students were in the process of a reconciliation after a brief seperation. One Friday the mother came to pick him up from the program and they were discussing what their plans were for the weekend. The son - a 1st Grader - turned around and said "just tell me that you and daddy are not going to change the sheets again - Im tired of watching Sponge Bob"


• A 3 year old came up to me and said... "Teacher, Teacher, guess where my dad has to sleep tonight? I said... "I don't know, where?" She said... "In the dog house. My mom said if he doesn't get his ass off the couch and do something around here, he's sleeping in the dog house and I know he won't do anything so I'm hoping I'll get to sleep in my mom's bed with her."


• My office is next to our 4-5 year olds. One day, through the door, I heard this conversation (HONEST!)Little Girl:"Let's play housekeeping. I'll be the mom and do everything. You be the dad. You can sit here and do nothing."


• I was teasing a child and I told him I was going to put him in my purse and take him home and he told me (Ms. Susan you can't I will have to sneak out and I don't have my toothbrush)


• While talking about the theme "All About Me," we were reviewing body parts. I would name a body part and ask the function of the body part. When we got to nose, I asked a little boy in my group what the purpose of the nose is. He responded with "to pick your boogers."


• During circle time our two year old class was talking about what we would order at a restaraunt. Miss Pam said she would order a hamburger with lettuce, pickles, cheese and mushrooms. One little boy in class said, "you need a BIG MOUTH TO EAT THAT!"


• A parent was in our school registering her three year old daughter for our program. We asked her daughter "so how old are you now?" She replies "I'm like at least fourteen years old by now!"


• A 3 year old boy had made up his mind that he and I were going to get married. He told me that we could have our wedding at McDonald's (which he refers to as "Old McDonald's). As he presented the idea to me, he was so excited to tell me all of the pros to having our wedding at the fast food chain, "We can have chicken nuggets, french fries, and even pop!" I laughed and replied, "Well, what more could a girl ask for?!" to which he responded, "Well...do you want ketchup?"


• I had just turned 41 years old and the little girl asked me how old I was and I told her I was 14 in reverse and a parent had come in and she said "Do you know what? Ms. Dukes doesn't know how old she is." I thought that was so funny.


• We are required to have tornado drills each month April through September. After announcing a tornado drill over the intercom, I was helping the children to the safe areas and one little boy told me we were having a "tomato" drill.


• Aiden, a pre-K child was sent to our office for using some four letter words out on the playground. The director was having a serious talk with him, telling him we do not use those words. He said, "Well, you are going to have to talk with my mom, because she uses those words too!


• I have gained 30 lbs. over the past year. A child asked me at lunch time if I was full from eatting lunch. I turned sideways showing my belly and said, "Yes, very full." The children all saw my belly and exclaimed, "Mr. Adam's going to have a baby!" The next several minutes were used to explain that boys don't have babies, and Mr. Adam is just fat.


• Our 3 year old class was leaving Chapel Time. The Pastor was walking right behind the class. I looked a little boy who was very wide-eyed. He looked at me and said to me "Why is God Following us?" I just smiled and said "I think he wants to make sure you get back to your classroom safely. He responded with a simple "Oh"


• We were talking about the birth of Jesus and talking about Mary and Joseph and Jesus. One of the kids asked what was Mary and Joseph's last name? A Child answered - Mary Christ - duh, as in Jesus Christ.


• I had a 2 year old crying for his mommy and here all of the staff wear scrubs and I as the director I wear regular clothes and I was stepping in for the teacher. I was consoling the child and he said crying,"I want my teacher" and I told him "honey I am your teacher" and he replied "your not my teacher your my doctor" lol!


• One of our teachers was working on the letter "N" and the sound that it makes. She then asked the kids if they could think of any words that started with "N", repeating the sound of "N" a few times one little girl shouts out "N", "N", neutered. Not something you expect to hear from a four year old.


• Outside one day, one of my three-year-old daycare children said, "look! Ms. Pauline, airplane poop." Ever since then, the white puffy stuff coming from the back of airplanes is now referred to as "airplane poop."


• Asked a little girl when I picked her up from her first day at preschool. "How was your day?" "it was hard I didn't like it?" "Why" I asked. "teacher says write your name on this, write your name on that, write your name all day. Doesn't she know I cant and thats the reason i'm here!"


• A little boy asked why his friend wasn't in child care one day. So I explained that he couldn't come because he had pink eye. He repsonded by saying "Boy, I'm sure glad I have blue eyes."


• Me: C'mon Joshua let's go get the zucchini from the garden. Joshua: Yehey! I'm going to get bikinis!


• Teacher my bottom burped!!


• A child was standing by me and she said daddy has a who who, daddy gave me a who who I said a yoohoo she said no a who who daddy can't stick his tongue in his who who, it is to big But my tongue will fit. after trying to figure out what the child was talking about we asked her mother on arrival. She said daddy had bought a mask for halloween and got her one just like it...LOL what children will say


• I was wearing a big black belt. A child asked me why I had Santa's belt on?


• Over hear while passing by the children's bathroom. Pee Pee, Poo Poo, Butt. I peeked around the corner to find one of our students sitting by themselves on the toilet. No other children were present. I asked what are you doing --- do you need help? The matter of fact reply came back "No I'm just practicing my potty words". I guess he was in the right place for it.


• Once, years ago, I was taking care of a boy I'll call Tay. Tay loved dressing up in all things pink. Pink dress, pink socks, pink shoes, and a crown. One day while dressed up he walked over to a new teacher and proudly proclaimed, "I'm a princess!" She looked a bit upset and said, "No Tay, you're a BOY, that makes you a prince." Tay looked at her, stomped his food and said very firmly, "NO. I am a PRINCESS," and flounced off, effectively dismissing her from his presence.


• One day during nap-time I was taking care of a beautiful two-year-old girl I'll call Rita on her first day. She was inconsolable. I was trying to comfort her as she was crying in Spanish when suddenly she threw her arms up into the air and wailed, "Why God, WHY?!?!" It was at that point I realized that I might be outmatched.